the only domestic instinct my parents have managed to pass on to me is the tendency to hoard multiple plastic bags in another plastic bags despite the fact that I will probably never need this many plastic bags in my adult life
I am fully aware of how ridiculous I sound.
Roll your eyes. I certainly am.
You don’t have to be anonymous to admit that, pretty much 80% of people on this site have some kind of mental struggle they deal with. Also I feel like I’m shouting into the wind here. It’s weird to me that anyone would follow me tbh. Especially in the last 12 months since my blog was nothing but dick jokes, lame reblogs and sobbing rants about the futility of everything.
Anyway, I’m glad you’re better, or better-ish. Anxiety can be a bitch to shake and can confuse the sufferer into thinking it’s a natural part of their lives. But I think that’s crap. Anybody can get better, and not feel shame when relapsing which is important. But I think one of the biggest hurdles of depression is that there’s something in the human mind that requires attention, or pity, or sympathy or some kind of caring acknowledgement, so when a person receives care for depression or even simple friendly concern for their problem it releases endorphins or something. Like it feels good to be cared for. So a tiny part of you wants to hold on to this darkness of depression because it is an avenue to familial tenderness and loving care from those around you. Which is something everyone wants. I don’t know. I might be talking out of my ass here, but it seems to me that depression is the hardest mental illness (condition? state?) to shake because it has minor redemptive qualities. For some people.
I’m not an authority obviously. And my heart goes out to the people who struggle REALLY hard with crippling depression and the friends and families of people who lost the battle. But I do think that if it didn’t happen to be a disease that lends itself to the perks of hypochondria (sympathy, manipulation, the “martyr” personality) then it could be better controlled and treated.
I mean I personally have struggled with anxiety and depression, but have often wondered at what point am I genuinely feeling this way and when does it become faked? Not even for attention but to myself? Does depression encourage internal hypochondria? “Oh I have depression so every sad feeling I feel MUST be a relapse and woe is me and oh this triggers me etc etc etc but really if I wanted to I could snap out of it like I’m not catatonic get up you fucking idiot bad actor what is this 3rd grade ohhh mummy I feel sick I can’t go to school heh heh heh suckaaaa”
Sorry this isn’t even an answer to an ask I’m just ranting.
Point is: Mental illness is hard because not even you know what the fuck is going on, and your own brain, which is you, deliberately confuses you, for no reason.
Thankyou and goodnight